Chapter 4: Who's
In Charge Here?
I wondered how God could simultaneously hear all my prayers and the prayers of everyone else in the world. It seemed to me that a lot of prayers would have to be in conflict with others. I also wondered why some prayers were answered and some weren't. Or, if you like, why some were answered with a "yes" and others with a "no."
Left to our human agenda, most of us would want everything: financial abundance, great health, a perfect love relationship, etc. Most people don't have these and many ask God for them constantly. Yet, they still don't get them. If, as I believe, God has unconditional love for all and tremendous compassion, why aren't all wishes granted?
Furthermore, if God loves all children, why do some still die violent deaths? And why are some born with illnesses and defects? Why are some people born into nice homes and families, while others struggle to survive in third-world countries on dirt floors? Two people I care about were inflicted with the same illness. Both believed in God and both prayed for His help with healing. One was saved through a "miracle" while the other one died. Why?
If you start to break it down, I can really only think of three answers:
- God loves some people more.
- People's circumstances are random and caused by dumb luck.
- Each person chooses his or her circumstances for specific reasons before being born.
The first answer doesn't make sense to me at all because I believe God loves us all equally.
The second answer doesn't resonate with me either. Am I to believe that virtually everything — such as where I'm born, whether I'm healthy or not, which skills I'm able to master — is dependent on some cosmic roll of the dice?
Ah, but answer number three, that one interested me. Although, at first I didn't like it either. But the more I dug into it, the more it made sense to me that everyone chooses their own circumstances before birth. This allows them to create virtually whatever experience they want on earth.
Could this be the answer to why I was having so much trouble making the kind of money I wanted? As I mentioned previously, I was doing all right, but I wasn't at the level of success I thought I should be. And this happened time after time, in career after career. Could it be because I chose to hold myself back for some reason? Could it be a choice I made on the soul level before I came here to withhold financial success until I reached a certain level of consciousness? Could it be that I chose this so I wouldn't be distracted from finding the answers I came here to find?